High Character and Good Fortune: The Making and Being of Favorites
When you hear the word favorite, what do you think of? Favorite food? Favorite vacation spot? And yet, there’s a deeper meaning that we all know about but tend to ignore. How people treat us when we don’t have any power over them is how they’ll treat us when we do have power over them, or even if we don’t—and it goes both ways!
How much we respect others and how much they respect us not only predicts how successful our friendships will be but also tells us how our careers will go and how happy our relationships will be as well.
(1) A note on the making of favorites.
When we make someone a favorite, we are bestowing upon them a great honor. We are saying that they are special to us, that they stand out above the rest. To be someone's favorite is to be held in high esteem, to be cherished and loved. It is a wonderful thing to be someone's favorite. In turn, it is also good fortune to be someone's favorite. When you're a favorite, people take time for you and give you extra attention.
You are often given the chance to lead or take on responsibilities because others know that you can handle it well (or at least will try). But being somebody's favorite isn't always easy either; it means that your successes and failures are now theirs too.
You have been entrusted with their feelings of love and worthiness, so there will always be some pressure on your shoulders asasasas long as you're living up to their expectations. When you become someone's favorite, it takes more than just providing happiness.
You are committed to providing safety, trustworthiness, understanding, patience, support and anything else they need from you. And when those needs aren't met? That's when we see how strong our bond really is with this person who has accepted us as their favorite - if we stick around through all the difficulties together then that must mean something significant.
Maybe there's something unique about us that allows us to be that person's favorite. Maybe we've done things for them before and shown them our loyalty which made them want to reward us with their favoritism. Or maybe the connection between two favorites is simply inexplicable, but makes sense nonetheless.
Regardless of why we became somebody's favorite, I believe that it is important not only to accept this responsibility but also treasure every moment while you are theirs. Once they don't think you're their favorite anymore, once they find someone new and start giving them their affection instead of returning it to you...there won't be much left.
You'll feel like you wasted all those years investing in someone who was never going to return what was given back to you. But the truth is that nobody ever feels obligated to do any favors for anyone else- becoming somebody's favorite requires a deep emotional investment from both parties.
So if we want to maintain this relationship, we should cherish it and work hard for it everyday- one day soon enough somebody will come along who appreciates what we do as much as the person does whom we first became a favorite for does.
We shouldn't let the fear of losing this opportunity keep us from trying, but rather let the fear push us forward and remind us to do our best. Because even though it might seem stressful, difficult and even risky to put yourself out there again, the truth is that nothing worthwhile comes without risk.
We might fail this time around and end up without anybody to call a favorite, but what if we don't? What if our next attempt succeeds? As humans we live by statistics.
All of us lose our favorites sooner or later no matter how hard we try- so why not go ahead and make an effort anyway?
Why not go for it and hope for the best?
If we don't try, we'll never know.
The worst that could happen is that someone says no and the best that could happen is that they say yes.
(2) The making of favorites
What does it take to be a favorite? To answer that, we must first ask: what is a favorite?
A favorite is someone who is held in high regard, someone who is admired and respected.
To be a favorite is to be someone's top choice, the person they turn to when they need help or advice. If you are someone's favorite, you can count on them for anything and know that you are loved unconditionally.
A favorite is not an award for good behavior or an acknowledgment of exceptional skill. Nor is it necessarily a reward for putting up with abuse - at least not all the time.
A favorite may sometimes be bestowed because the one bestowing favors has no other recourse but still wants to maintain their position as the bestower of such gifts.
Sometimes a favorite may be created as compensation for less than agreeable behavior. Sometimes favorites are made out of desperation and love gone wrong, desperate measures used by people just trying to make it through another day together.
And sometimes favorites come from nowhere, accidents and happenstance conspiring to bring two people together so closely that neither one can go on without the other ever again.
In every case, however, being someone's favorite means being seen by them in a way that only you see yourself; being known intimately by another person; having been seen from deep within yourself and acknowledged fully.
For this reason, to be someone's favorite is a blessing and to have many favorites is great fortune. It should never be taken lightly. To give favor and show appreciation is both difficult and risky.
In doing so, there is always the chance that a request will be met with apathy or annoyance rather than gratitude.
But if done right, a favorite can become like family; someone who would do anything for you and always will even when you stop giving them reasons to care about your well-being.
(3) On the being of favorites
It's not hard to see why someone would want to be a favorite. Being a favorite means you're loved and appreciated, which are two of the most fundamental human needs. Plus, being a favorite comes with some pretty great perks.
For example, you usually get treated better, given more attention, and granted more favors. And if this is something that doesn't happen in your life right now, it may seem like the perfect way to feel loved. However, there are some serious drawbacks to being a favorite.
There can be jealousy between favorites or fights over who gets what privilege. You might also find yourself used as an emotional dumping ground for their problems when they don't have anyone else they can confide in; after all, who knows them better than their favorite?
As a result, these relationships can start to feel icky and toxic. In addition, because favorites tend to become isolated from the rest of their group (either by choice or by neglect), they start relying on one person for all of their support, which can lead to codependency.
What started out as mutually beneficial soon becomes one-sided and unequal. When our main source of support is taken away--and we know that people do stop being our favorite--we often go into shock and disbelief because we've been relying on them so much.
With all these downsides, it becomes clear that while many people dream about being a favorite someday (and yes, maybe sometimes even crave it), in reality few people ever end up experiencing this kind of relationship again... unless they're willing to give up everything else for it.
It may sound tempting, but at what cost? If being a favorite means giving up every other meaningful relationship in your life, then isn't it just easier to be liked?
To make someone a favorite is high character and to be someone's favorite is good fortune.
(4) When it comes to popular blog posts
People often ask how to become a favorite. Whether it's becoming a favorite of someone special, or being someone's favorite in general, it seems like a high honor. And it is. Becoming a favorite requires high character and good fortune.
A lot of people will come up to you with compliments and then try to get something from you in return. But this kind of person only has the power because they know they're not your favorite - yet.
It may take some time, but eventually you'll find that one person who shares their best qualities with you without expecting anything in return - an unselfish soul who doesn't care about status or material goods but instead wants nothing more than to make others happy.
They are your friend for life, the one who gets your jokes even when no one else does, the one who knows what you need before you do - even if it means staying silent and lending a hand. To have such a friendship is good fortune indeed.
To be such a friend is priceless. There's no way to repay them for all the kindnesses shown. All we can do is love them back as much as possible and pay forward all that we've been given by their side.
Friendships don't come easily; friends don't either. That goes double for finding both true friends and true favorites.
(6) The text follows.
On its discussion of discovering a great friend by referencing Twitter favorites – those which show appreciation of blog posts or other posts through clicking Favorite on Twitter – thus completing the post as originally intended.
(5) So if you want to be a favorite
1. Get to know the person. What do they like? What are their hobbies? What makes them tick?
2. Be interested in what they're interested in. Show that you care about the things they care about.
3. Be dependable and reliable. Let them know that they can count on you, no matter what.
4. Be supportive, both emotionally and practically. Be there for them when they need you.
5. Give without expecting anything in return. Just because you're a favorite doesn't mean you're entitled to anything; it's a privilege, not a right. If these steps sound difficult, remember this quote from Dr.
Seuss Be who you are and say what you feel 'cause those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. So be true to yourself and your friends will be true to you! You'll find that if you're a favorite people will see you as an extension of themselves, which is a compliment in any language.
(6) And here’s the secret...
There's no denying that we all have our favorite people. Whether it's a family member, close friend, or even a celebrity, we all have someone (or multiple someones) that we admire and look up to.
But what makes someone a favorite? Is it simply a matter of luck, or is there more to it than that? To answer this question, let’s go back to the beginning.
Let’s say you’re out with your friends at a restaurant, trying to decide on where to order your dinner from. One of your friends suggests the sushi place around the corner that you always forget about but are always impressed by when you finally try it.
Another friend says No way! That place has awful service! They never get my order right! What do you do? You probably shrug and say Whatever because you like both places so much. You want to spend time with your friends, so the place doesn't really matter that much.
But now imagine if those two options were not only food places, but something else—like a sports team.
You have an equal affection for both teams, so which one would you cheer for if they were playing each other?
If it’s too hard to choose just one team over the other, then congratulations—you're most likely neutral about them! If you chose one team over another based solely on sentimentality or because they happen to be playing next week, then congratulations again—you're biased in favor of them!
And there you have it—the three steps to becoming a favorite. Step 1: Put in the effort. Step 2: Express your opinion openly and without bias.
Step 3: Find someone who likes you as much as you like them, and then give them a little bit of extra attention for being awesome enough to love everything about you as much as you love everything about them! It might sound simple, but these three easy steps can lead to high character and good fortune.
(7) I hope this will make you happy, dear blog reader
There's something special about being someone's favorite. It's a sign of high character and good fortune. To be able to make someone else feel this way is a gift.
And to be on the receiving end of this favor is a true blessing. It means you're important, cherished, valuable, loved--more than anything or anyone else in that person's life.
(8) When you're with them you know it. You'll always be able to count on them for unconditional support, guidance, and friendship--no matter what happens in their lives or yours.
(9) And when they leave for whatever reason, no matter how much time has passed since then, you'll still know deep down that they love you more than anyone else ever could.
(10) No one will ever be as important as your favorite because there is no one who knows your heart better than they do--all its fears and all its hopes. They've seen you at your worst and know just how hard you try every day.
They can tell when things are going well for you by the lilt in your voice and the smile on your face. Your favorite sees everything; they have an emotional connection to every single piece of who you are, and so does that emotional connection extend back to them.
(11) So don't take it lightly; treat it like gold because if nothing else, making someone a favorite makes us better people--more loving, generous, forgiving people--and we need more of those now more than ever before.
The key part of making others into favorites is doing so wholeheartedly. If you find yourself gravitating towards certain individuals but not letting them into your innermost circle, asking yourself why may give some insight into why you hold others at arm’s length.
(8) We often hold off on fully embracing other people because we’re afraid that they won’t reciprocate our feelings.
But if our intentions are pure--if we want to let others into our hearts without expectations or reservations—we shouldn’t fear rejection but rather must simply be patient while letting everyone come around in their own time.
Don't pressure others to show you affection when they're not ready or willing, and remember that opening up takes courage. Some people are slow to trust, even after years of love and devotion.
Show patience with these folks; keep telling them over and over again that you care for them deeply until eventually their guard comes down enough for them to let you in.
(12) One thing that I learned from my mother was that any person, whether or not they're worthy of your love, deserves to be treated kindly. That includes our friends and acquaintances--even those whose company we would ordinarily avoid.
(13) As soon as we start treating them differently based on where they stand in relation to us, it becomes easier for us to dismiss their opinions and dismiss ourselves from engaging with them altogether. And once we stop communicating with someone, getting close enough to see the unique beauty within each individual becomes nearly impossible.
(14) In order for me personally to continue moving forward and progressing past my old patterns of self-defeatism I had to first admit how badly I wanted approval from others. I knew that I didn’t deserve it, and yet I craved it anyway.
(15) It took me a long time to break free from this addiction to seeking outside validation, and the only way I managed to accomplish it was by owning up to my flaws and limitations. It felt strange at first, giving myself permission to be flawed in a world that tells us that we should be perfect.
(16) Yet as time went on I began feeling more content with who I am and better able to say I’m sorry or thank you when necessary. These days I try to make an effort to do something nice for somebody every day, no matter what mood I'm in.
Sometimes that means helping an elderly neighbor carry her groceries inside or listening intently when one of my coworkers needs someone to talk with about their troubles.
Other times it's cooking dinner for family members who don't have anyone else cooking for them, changing diapers, running errands for sick friends, walking dogs--whatever needs doing!
In general this blog post talked about the importance of being a favorite and high character in relationships.
The author also touched on the theme of finding happiness and breaking cycles of self-defeatism. They shared their own personal experiences of overcoming the need for external validation and, as a result, becoming happier with themselves.
For example, they realized that it was important to spend time with people who are different from them in terms of race, gender, sexual orientation, or socio-economic status.
They were able to develop a sense of empathy and understanding for people who are different from them and in turn become more accepting of themselves. In conclusion, the author says that they hope that reading this will make you happy and feel like you are not alone.
They then talk about the dangers of focusing on negatives, and that as a society we need to work together to be supportive and promote positivity. They offer readers three points:
1) Focusing on the good in your life is contagious.
2) Find something positive to say about yourself, or someone else, before you leave the house in the morning.
3) It's okay to just take it easy sometimes. They conclude by talking about sleep as a form of self-care.
They say that every day when they wake up, it takes some effort to stop thinking about all the things they could have done better.
To counteract this, when they go to bed at night, they think about what went well and how much time has passed since their last bad day.